Bits and Pieces

Chuckles

Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished.

Dan Gilbert

Isaac Stern, the famous violinist, once ran into boxer Muhammad Ali at a party. To start a conversation, Stern said, “You might say we’re in the same business. We both make a living with our hands.”

“You must be pretty good,” replied Ali. “There isn’t a mark on you.”

Adapted from Bartlett’s Book of Anecdotes
Clifton Fadiman and Andre Bernard, editors

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

Will Rogers

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Mike Birbiglia

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

Robert Brault

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Sam Levenson

You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

Melanie Clark

What happens if a jokester always hears his or her stories repeated?

The tale is dogging the wag.

Adapted from A Pleasury of Witticisms and Word Play
Antony B. Lake

The best way I know of to win an argument is to start by being right.

Quintin Hogg

Given a thimbleful of facts we rush to make generalizations as large as a tub.

Gordon W. Allport

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